This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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