i'm signing you up for texting rehab
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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