that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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