I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize