I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
