Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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