the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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