Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
