There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
