Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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