I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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