You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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