Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
A+ Viking dick
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