Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
