one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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