you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
