she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
