what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
