Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
