it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
