I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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