I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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