ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize