what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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