Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
