sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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