just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
