im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
