I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
