there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I understand Curling. That high.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
