You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
its liver damage thursday
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
