well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
