I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
foreskin is a definite game changer
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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