Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
