I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
