i just google imaged poop.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
