Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize