We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
