THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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