let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
