found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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