I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
