The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
