i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
