I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
