guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
