I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize