Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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