So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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