Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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