tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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