Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize