So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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