are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
