I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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