we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
