Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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