What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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