Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
