I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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