i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
