After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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