Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
