Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Randomize
