Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
