I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I touched a dick in church today
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
