handjob tips. give me some.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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