They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
