the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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