Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
