It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize