and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
