just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
