I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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